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On Change & Vulnerability

Hey everyone, welcome back Defiant Life Coaching.  Happy New Year!

I wanted to talk about slowing down at this time. We witches obviously start our new year in the spring during the equinox, so in the dead of winter is not necessarily the time to manifest or set intentions.


Many people especially neurodivergent, disabled, chronically ill people have given a lot of themselves over the holidays, and it's time for rest and recuperation. I was recording a video series with a person who highlights different businesses and we were just talking about what's different about my life coaching, or my approach, and I just wanted to reiterate for all of you is what's different about my life coaching as well as any of your businesses or any of your pursuits is that nobody has the unique combination of lived experience, education and work experience like you.


When we experience an ableist, neurotypical world, an oppressive world, an unsupportive world essentially, we might start to believe and internalize their messages about how it's silly to want to surround yourself with soft toys and bright colors when you're 45. How it's not reasonable to be an artist, you know, starting out in your 50s or a ballet dancer like that's not how it usually works, right?


But the thing that I was sharing with this person tonight is that you are not supposed to live other people's paths or even paths previously traveled. As we move into the Age of Aquarius for many of us who are feeling both frustrated and like we are waking up right to our abilities and to our authenticity, we are supposed to forge new paths that have not been traveled before.


Your gifts, your spiritual gifts, your artistic gifts, your intellectual gifts, your gifts as a neurodivergent person, as a multiply marginalized person, are so very needed right now. I cannot stress enough how necessary it is to speak truth to power but also just to speak to others about where you're at.


And I find a lot of life coaches selling a lifestyle that they have achieved, you know, like a balance of a kind, of healing of a kind and, you know, perhaps that's their experience, but my experience shows that life is ultimately all about change and much of that change can be deeply uncomfortable, even if that change is very necessary inn how we relate to others and how we relate to ourselves and how we put up boundaries.


Change is difficult and perhaps something folks want to avoid, but I want us to reflect on how there is no healed place that you reach eventually and then can guarantee that for other people because that's not the purpose of life. As difficult as it may be to accept the purpose of life is to grow and evolve and shed skins and versions of yourself that no longer align with like what you feel internally to be your truth.


And so it always feels kind of like certain aspects of our lives are tense and then we massage them and solve some of the issues there and then other issues crop up and ask for more resilience out of us and more capacity and feels like, “God can I take a breath?” I often ask this of the universe. Can I take a breath? Can I find the breath in this discomfort?


And so I'm not selling you any kind of healed lifestyle here or any kind of, you know, achievement of nirvana or whatever but I do think the more we show up for each other and affirm each other's passions and dreams and neurodiversity and experience of the world, then the more healed we're all going to be in and through those conversations and those interactions.


I know change is scary and it's triggering, but as we hibernate through the winter, allow yourself a few moments of sitting with that discomfort and also being able to find rest. You don't need to make any New Year's resolutions. You just need to remember that you are the universe itself. You are magical. And whatever dreams you have inside of you are fated and you deserve to bring them to fruition. So that's my message for this week.

Let's go have a peaceful and easeful January. Bye everyone.

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